Dexter and I had a movie night. It was nice, the kids were asleep, we had our cheap bottle of wine open and poured and we settled in for one of our favorites "Return to Me." Its a sweet movie with a great Rat Pack soundtrack. There was a side story that I did overlook. One of the main characters friends is a mother of 5. Her life was chaos! Every scene depicted her being overrun by kids - whining, fighting, scolding. It was not a pretty picture. I noticed a scowl upon my face and then I look over to Dexter who is absolutely beaming.
Throughout the movie there are these scenes that make me want to cry not because of the sweet love story but because I feel like that mom. Never a moment to myself. There has never been a complete cure for self centeredness other than motherhood - not parenthood. Fathers, like the one in the movie, are oblivious or impervious to the noise, chaos and trama that children bring into the lives of their mothers. The father in this movie laughed, drank, left the house for work (so he had many children free hours) and came home and wanted to jump into bed.
This family probably wouldnt stand out in the movie to non parents, but it certainly had an impact on both Dexter and me. While I cringed at the horror of long days, laundry, cleaning, broken record repitition of rules, cooking, etc. Dexter smiled. He looks confused when he glances at me. I told him now was not a good time to start the "lets have more kids" conversation. My life is insanity already, I cannot imagine adding another kid to the mix.
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