Happy?

The other day someone asked (I suspect after reading my blog) if I was happy.  That is a tough question.  I try to be content with my situation, I really do.  But just for fun, lets break this down and look at it bit by bit...

Normal job:  Wake up, shower, drink coffee, get dressed ,drive to work.

Me: Wake up and try to creep out of bed so the kids dont hear me so maybe I can make my coffee before they wake up, but Vivian wakes up and starts crying.  That wakes up Flip so he bounds out of bed asking to play cars, wants me to make him toast and turn on some cartoons all at the same time.  He will request all these things over and over again until all three are complete.  Dogs whine to go out.  Vivian is still crying.  No coffee yet.  Get the toast going, let the dogs out, start making lunches.  Vivian is now clutching my legs and crying and Flip is asking where his toast is.  Dogs go nuts and chase an old neighbor down so I run outside and get them back inside.  Vivian is now screaming because I left her.  Flip is really ready for his toast.  Still no coffee.  The toast is made and I am reminded of how I did not turn on the cartoons yet.  Vivian has stopped crying and is now demanding her BITES.  The dogs are whining to be fed.  Cartoons on, Vivian fed, dogs fed and finally I can brew my coffee.  I look up after my first sip and see school starts in 5 minutes!  Turn off TV while Flip protests that the show is not over and now he is in a bad mood. He takes his time getting in the shower, but finally does.  Change Vivian, let dogs back outside, put backpack in the car, get dogs back in, shut off water in shower since Flip refuses to, wrestle clothes on Flip.  Race to the car, buckle Vivian in but not Flip because he KNOWS how to do it, then get back out and buckle Flip in because really he doesnt know how.  Drive to school and make mental note to not get out or talk to anyone since I'm in my pjs and have not had a chance to brush my teeth.

And folks that is just my first hour of the day...It continues like that all day and into the evening.  I try to clean and do laundry while being a mom.  No one really listens so I find myself repeating the same instructions all day long.  I dont get a break unless both kids are napping and Dexter gets home around 9pm because he coaches to make extra money.   Its a tough existence at the moment so I blog to say the things I would never utter to my children.  Sarcasm makes me smile. 

While I do this without pay and no days off for the next 20 years I really do adore my children.  They are healthy and sweet to each other and when they smile it melts my hardened heart.  But unfortunately it re hardens repeatedly throughout my long day.