Babies and Bitches

As a mom of two adorable kids, I really understand the need to be away from them for long periods of time.  A few hours with friends has amazing restorative properties because usually those few hours include the consumption of my two favorite things - wine and chocolate.

No parenting magazine has the article about how parents need to forget their parents for an evening (the only way turn your mind off from parenting mode is to drink - that's why God made wine...Jesus' first miracle actually).  That's something you discover on your own when you are crying in the bathroom because its the only place you can escape.

So skip the tears in the bathroom and call a friend.  Or join a little group just for moms.  That's what I did!

But it sucks.  I traded my whining babies in for a bunch of bitching moms just like me.  SHIT.  I need everyone to listen to ME!  Not vie for the groups' attention with their latest sob story.  I clearly picked the wrong group.  Every mom out there is going nuts no matter how crisply her oxford is ironed.  We all go a little mad.  Who wouldn't after saying "No dear, please stop" 478 times in one morning (except mine is like this "ARGH! FLIP, FRICKIN STOP!!!!!!!!!!"

I was tricked!  Lured to the group by moms with cardigans and make up on.  Don't fall for it.  Its only a mask of the insanity that resides within.  And if you cannot be with a group of moms and say how much you hate your current situation without scowls or ridicule then you should get up and leave.  Find a friend who will drink with you, cry with you and just nod in the affirmative.  Sometimes that's all you need...as long as the kids are not anywhere close by.

The need for a mom "time out" is imperative.  Never forget that, but beware trading in that valuable baby-free time for a bunch of bitches...I mean bitching moms!