All the magazines, tv shows, commercials, and stories out there are paint the picture that motherhood is all sunshine and lollipops. We are always smiling with a nice button down shirt, khakis, and our hair and makeup look great. Life as a mom is great--so they say.
In reality its poopy diapers stinking up the constantly messy house. Its too much laundry but you cannot find that ONE black shirt that hides your baby pooch. Its "mamma, mamma, mamma" and "why, why, why." Its you just laid down for the night and the baby starts to cry. Its bypassing the cute pair of earrings at Target so you have enough money for diapers. Its never getting out the door fast--ever again. Its whining, complaining, crying, pitching fits and neediness. And its certainly not all about you.
I love my children, but they cost money--lots of it. Dexter now works a second job till my real estate business picks up--which it wont be till these toddlers stop demanding so much of my time. So I stay at home while he works long days and weekends. Its very trying. He is tired when he comes home and the kids take his last bit of energy. Mine is sapped by 6pm and so is my patience.
So no money, no hubby, lots of everything else. And to top it off, Flip decided he would retaliate from my discipline by pulling back and hitting me today...ahhh, motherhood is grand.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Poor little Flip
This is a continuation of my previous rant - I mean post. Flip really does get put on the back burner these days. And nothing breaks my heart more than seeing him passed by for the new baby. I know Vivian is cute and sweet and fun to hold but she wont remember a bit of the attention she gets...on the other hand, Flip does.
He is a boy, a guy's guy. He wants to run and chase, kick and throw, and most of all his little heart desires nothing more than to play cars. This fact no matter how well he verbalizes this, it is completely lost on anyone but me - yes, even on Dexter.
All he wants to do every waking moment is play cars. He works out his thoughts, problems, and many of the scenarios he encounters through his cars. Its absolutely adorable. He has the best little vocabulary and will love you forever if you just sit down with him to play.
Flip does not want to bake, watch you watch tv or play on the computer, talk to you on the phone, color (for longer than 3 minutes), or any of those other boring activities. He just wants to play cars. And if you want to be his favorite grandparent/aunt/uncle/friend then you know what you need to do...
He is a boy, a guy's guy. He wants to run and chase, kick and throw, and most of all his little heart desires nothing more than to play cars. This fact no matter how well he verbalizes this, it is completely lost on anyone but me - yes, even on Dexter.
All he wants to do every waking moment is play cars. He works out his thoughts, problems, and many of the scenarios he encounters through his cars. Its absolutely adorable. He has the best little vocabulary and will love you forever if you just sit down with him to play.
Flip does not want to bake, watch you watch tv or play on the computer, talk to you on the phone, color (for longer than 3 minutes), or any of those other boring activities. He just wants to play cars. And if you want to be his favorite grandparent/aunt/uncle/friend then you know what you need to do...
I need some Vivian time
The phone rings and I rush to it hoping the kids will sleep through it (one of these days I will learn to silence it before I put them down for a nap). Its a grandparent on the other line claiming that they are in desperate need of Vivian time. Apparently poor Flip is now put on the back burner--he is no longer interesting to them b/c he requires attention and the baby can just be held.
So we arrange a meet up. That means I get to deliver my kids to them, which means I get to pack up half the house, bathe them, make sure they have on the outfits that the grandparent we are visiting bought for them and DRIVE to the grandparent's house. But before we get out of the neighborhood we have to go back to the house to get the item or two we inevitably forget. Then we are really on the road by the second attempt.
Driving is awful! Sweet little Vivian does not - I repeat - does not like car rides. She cries and squirms and cries so more. I jiggle her seat, reach back and keep her pacifier in her mouth, sing, hold her little hand...but she still hates it. And that makes me hate it.
So we get there and Flip is ignored so he begs me to to play with him. Vivian falls asleep and is ok till she gets poked too much by the grandparents wanting to see her hand/foot/lips. So she wakes up and cries. So I have to feed her, which means that Flip is now alone since everyone wants to hold a baby not REALLY pay attention to that other kid of mine.
Then I finally get Vivian asleep again and its time to go. Gosh, doesnt that just sound like awesome fun!! The great part is the drive home...Flips unspoken, but noticeable disappointment from being virtually, Vivian's crying, and the hour in the car sitting in Atlanta traffic. And they wonder why I dont want to do it every single weekend.
So we arrange a meet up. That means I get to deliver my kids to them, which means I get to pack up half the house, bathe them, make sure they have on the outfits that the grandparent we are visiting bought for them and DRIVE to the grandparent's house. But before we get out of the neighborhood we have to go back to the house to get the item or two we inevitably forget. Then we are really on the road by the second attempt.
Driving is awful! Sweet little Vivian does not - I repeat - does not like car rides. She cries and squirms and cries so more. I jiggle her seat, reach back and keep her pacifier in her mouth, sing, hold her little hand...but she still hates it. And that makes me hate it.
So we get there and Flip is ignored so he begs me to to play with him. Vivian falls asleep and is ok till she gets poked too much by the grandparents wanting to see her hand/foot/lips. So she wakes up and cries. So I have to feed her, which means that Flip is now alone since everyone wants to hold a baby not REALLY pay attention to that other kid of mine.
Then I finally get Vivian asleep again and its time to go. Gosh, doesnt that just sound like awesome fun!! The great part is the drive home...Flips unspoken, but noticeable disappointment from being virtually, Vivian's crying, and the hour in the car sitting in Atlanta traffic. And they wonder why I dont want to do it every single weekend.
Where are all the Southern gentlemen?
Vivian is growing by leaps and bounds. She has chubby little legs and and arms--its wonderful. But that also means my little butterball is heavy! She is pushing 15lbs and add the weight of the car seat I haul around everywhere and I get a little workout all day long.
Now what Im wondering is why the hell does no other person not see how obviously heavy this child + car seat is and open the DAMN door for me. Huh? Or Im I just more observant and courteous that holding open a door after I pass through is just second nature.
The other day Im dropping off the weed eater at the shop to get serviced and I ended up having to park on the hill just outside the shop. The guy inside watches me try to keep the door open while getting Vivian and the car seat out of the car, then we head around to the back, open the trunk and get an equally heavy weed eater, then we trudge up the rest of the hill to enter the shop. Guess who finally got up off his stool to talk to me. I thought I might have to go pick him up too. I sure hope he was entertained.
Does no one see what is wrong in this little story?
Now what Im wondering is why the hell does no other person not see how obviously heavy this child + car seat is and open the DAMN door for me. Huh? Or Im I just more observant and courteous that holding open a door after I pass through is just second nature.
The other day Im dropping off the weed eater at the shop to get serviced and I ended up having to park on the hill just outside the shop. The guy inside watches me try to keep the door open while getting Vivian and the car seat out of the car, then we head around to the back, open the trunk and get an equally heavy weed eater, then we trudge up the rest of the hill to enter the shop. Guess who finally got up off his stool to talk to me. I thought I might have to go pick him up too. I sure hope he was entertained.
Does no one see what is wrong in this little story?
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Diamonds
I made a deal with Dex when we talked about having kids. I said I better get a big thank you in the form of something sparkly for pushing out kids. To be specific, I said a carat a kid.
So all I have to ask is has anyone see my diamond hoop earrings? No? Hmmm, maybe Dexter left them at the jewelers. I better go ask (again)...
So all I have to ask is has anyone see my diamond hoop earrings? No? Hmmm, maybe Dexter left them at the jewelers. I better go ask (again)...
WTF#3
There is a black hole in which all socks go. I cannot locate it, but its here in my house. It destroys only socks, never trash, never dirty laundry. Just all the socks. Someone or something is out to get me.
WTF#2
I hate football! I hate it, hate it, hate it. During the Fall I see very little of Dexter (which means I see a lot of my little ones). He coaches soccer along with working a regular 9 to 5 for extra mullah, but its because he insists on me having all these kids. Diapers aint free!
So besides leaving at the crack of dawn to do an office job, he coaches 2 nights a week and then 2-4 games a weekend. It takes a lot of his time, but I never complain about him working so hard. What I can and do complain about is the additional time he takes to watch football. College ball, pro ball, soccer--you know what, if it has a ball in the game he is watching it. Thats what guys do b/c the two they were born with just isnt enough. Oh, ONE MORE--the tour de France. So sports season starts in July and ends in January of the following year.
Dexter is practically glued to the TV during the "season" and he watches intently as his team (which is any team playing no matter what college or city they are based in) plays. The bad thing is that he records them. So he can pause them to play with the kids, but strangely he still says "One more minute" quite frequently. This is a disturbing trend because he told me the reason we pay extra for the DVR is so he can pause it or watch it later in order to spend more time with us--you know, his family.
I hate sports. And never ever believe the lie about getting the DVR to spend more time with you. No, its to record two games playing at the same time. DVR is evil--pure evil.
So besides leaving at the crack of dawn to do an office job, he coaches 2 nights a week and then 2-4 games a weekend. It takes a lot of his time, but I never complain about him working so hard. What I can and do complain about is the additional time he takes to watch football. College ball, pro ball, soccer--you know what, if it has a ball in the game he is watching it. Thats what guys do b/c the two they were born with just isnt enough. Oh, ONE MORE--the tour de France. So sports season starts in July and ends in January of the following year.
Dexter is practically glued to the TV during the "season" and he watches intently as his team (which is any team playing no matter what college or city they are based in) plays. The bad thing is that he records them. So he can pause them to play with the kids, but strangely he still says "One more minute" quite frequently. This is a disturbing trend because he told me the reason we pay extra for the DVR is so he can pause it or watch it later in order to spend more time with us--you know, his family.
I hate sports. And never ever believe the lie about getting the DVR to spend more time with you. No, its to record two games playing at the same time. DVR is evil--pure evil.
Long time, no post
Well, my adoring fans thats what happens when you have kids. Eating and sleeping come before blogging. But fear not--I have lots to bitch about...
I think I will title my next series of rants "WTF."
WTF 1:
Apparently holding a baby causes instantaneous bowel movements in Dexter. Seriously, within mere minutes of relieving me of the little Vivian I get called back. I have held that (sweet, adorable) child ALL DAY LONG and you cant let me have 5 minutes to myself.
Come on! When are moms supposed to shower, eat, relax our arm, or go to the potty ourselves. FRICK, its annoying. I even called Dexter out on it and he doesnt believe me. I told him to do "that" at work. I swear men just dont get it. And its not the baby, everyday I love my little girl more and more, but a little help from #1 dad (or should I say #2 dad) would be welcome.
He works all day to pay the bills, but he doesnt get what I have termed Vivian-elbow. Its like a tennis elbow, but comes from holding a heavy baby for long periods of time. So now its like a running joke at our house...Dexter just approaches me smiling. He knows Im right. He heads to the head and I get to cuddle a little more.
If this happens to you, just remember to NOT let them take the phone with them--too many games.
I think I will title my next series of rants "WTF."
WTF 1:
Apparently holding a baby causes instantaneous bowel movements in Dexter. Seriously, within mere minutes of relieving me of the little Vivian I get called back. I have held that (sweet, adorable) child ALL DAY LONG and you cant let me have 5 minutes to myself.
Come on! When are moms supposed to shower, eat, relax our arm, or go to the potty ourselves. FRICK, its annoying. I even called Dexter out on it and he doesnt believe me. I told him to do "that" at work. I swear men just dont get it. And its not the baby, everyday I love my little girl more and more, but a little help from #1 dad (or should I say #2 dad) would be welcome.
He works all day to pay the bills, but he doesnt get what I have termed Vivian-elbow. Its like a tennis elbow, but comes from holding a heavy baby for long periods of time. So now its like a running joke at our house...Dexter just approaches me smiling. He knows Im right. He heads to the head and I get to cuddle a little more.
If this happens to you, just remember to NOT let them take the phone with them--too many games.
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