This advice is intended to counter all the pictures of moms that don't have dark circles under their eyes. Just because your infant has grown to a toddler doesn't mean you get good sleep. For example, last night I went to bed around midnight. I was awake to one of Vivian's violent coughing fits - she is sick AGAIN. That was around 1 or 2, then I was awake again to find the lost pacifier. Around 4, Flip comes in because he has had a bad dream. Finally Dexter's alarm starts going off at 6 and it continues to do so till about 7.
So Mimi, sleep while you can because you won't get 8 consecutive hours of sleep till your youngest child is 10 and then there is still no guarantee. To practice for motherhood do the following:
1. For the mom that goes back to work: get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
For the mom that stays home: hold wet bag all day, no breaks for showering and you must learn to use the bathroom and hold the bag without dropping it. (All meals to be eaten cold using one hand)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)
Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.
hahaha
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