Dear Body,
I have been giving you lots of attention lately. Running, biking and weights. But this relationship is not going to work without a little communication. So please listen to me because I have a few things to say.
First, I need my boobs not to get any smaller. They are the one thing I would like the fat not to melt off of. Second, take all that fat-burning right to my muffin top or saddle bags. I don't like them...at all.
Quick recap: Boob fat = good. Any other fat = bad.
Next, I know we are approaching 30 but, seriously, no need to make me feel as though I have one foot in the grave. Wait, what? Whats that you say? Oh, I feel that way because of the children not because of something your not doing right. OK, that's fair.
Quick recap: Exhaustion due to children, not because of supposed reduction of body's capabilities.
Lastly, I'm not giving up chocolate. There is plenty of research out there that says its good for the body. What? Whats that you say? Oh, I didn't see the "in moderation" part. Was that in the fine print of the article? Hmm. If it was in the fine print it must not have been that important. Your request for less chocolate intake is alarmingly unfeminine and foreign idea to me, therefore it has been denied.
Quick recap: Chocolate makes you immortal.
denied! ha
ReplyDeleteI am having a hard time deciding whether or not I want to be skinny and be a starving, angry person or be mad because I can't fit into my pants but know I have a bowl of mint chocolate chip waiting for me after a hard day. The jury is out on this one.
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