Knowing that I am not rational is not the first step to recovery, it is - I fear - a permanent state of mind for me. Those who know me well are aware that I have a tendency to hate inanimate objects. I think this stems from my inability to control actual living beings in my life. Since I cannot control my husband, my kids, my family and more often than not myself I direct that desire for control on inanimate objects. This involves, but is not limited to, baby and toddler shoes with laces, safety caps on bleach bottles, pens that are out of ink, my jeans that don't fit, and slices of cheese that do not separate easily.
Interestingly, I have noticed that in addition to this list I have started to hate situations. The three most prominent ones are the following (in no particular order): Dexter's second job, the fact that the Atlanta Falcons are in the playoffs, and extreme weather. To a normal (and balanced) person this things are no big deal.
Allow me to explain. You're probably thinking what woman wouldn't be grateful for the extra money that comes in from a second job? It just that Dexter's second job, coaching 2 soccer teams, means that he is never home. After work three nights a week he comes home just as I am putting the kiddos to bed. That means that I have really, really, really long days. Then he ends up coaching two games on Saturday (and sometimes on Sunday). The games are never close by because its a traveling league and the times are usually 9 am and 4pm. Apparently scheduling his games back to back is really difficult. So I am with my kids waaaaaaaay too much and I'm not sure they recognize their dad.
Next, the Falcons are in the playoffs. This wouldn't be so bad if Dexter didn't insist on watching every single game - at not just the games the Falcons are in, but EVERY single game in the playoffs. This wouldn't be an issue except for the fact that we never see him and when we do, he is inexplicably glued to the TV. Oh that reminds me, I hate the TV!!
Finally, I hate extreme weather. I don't live near the equator b/c its too hot. I don't live in Montana or Chicago because they have too much snow. I live in Atlanta where there is supposed to be 2 months of mild winter and the rest of the year is just right. This past week has been an exception to the rule. It snowed 6 inches and then froze over. The temperatures stayed below freezing and so the ice never melted. We were limited to our house or anywhere we could walk for 4 days since all the roads were impassable. 1700 sq ft is really small when you are stuck in it for so long.
Whats so funny and irrational is that the last thing I described allowed the kids and me to spend quality time with Dexter. I should have relished that time. Unfortunately I just don't think that way. Cabin fever + too many playoff games recorded + inappropriate clothes for playing the snow = not fun.
Sigh...
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