I'm such a sucker. I saw that more preschool Sunday School teachers were needed so I said I could help out (Dexter must have been with the kids for most of that day or I would have been in my right mind and said no - rephrase: in my normal state of mind - there is nothing right about it though). I review the lesson, get the craft ready, outline the main points of the Bible story and in general look forward to it...
What was I thinking?!?! I barely keep my cool with my own two kids and I love them - a lot. Now I'm stuck in a room of ten kids ranging 3-5 years old who don't want to color, don't want to share, don't want to sit down, listen or obey. And to top it off, I'm at church so I cannot cuss! It was horrible. Apparently I am a strict momma because only one other kid besides little Flip had any manners.
Thank goodness its a monthly rotation and I have the next two off. I think I need to ask for a different age group though since teaching (really its just babysitting) is making my Sundays very unholy.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Warning!
Pretty much everything ever made has a warning or safety cap. I used to either laugh at or be annoyed by those. Who really needs all these baby proof caps? Obviously they are for those parents with problem children. Seriously, who cannot control their one year old? Hmmmm?
Um, that would be me. Those warnings were written for me and my Vivian. We had a serious scare the other day when Vivian found a pill of some sort. Unbeknowst to us, she shoved it in her mouth - like everything else - and ate it. Why not, it could be sweet like candy? So after an evening of fun at the in-laws, from 9:30 at night to 6 am the next day Vivian was confused, energetic, eating, but certainly not sleeping. It was awful. I rushed her to the ER but there was no need to rush since we were seen 4 hours later.
After racking our brains and going through all the possibilities the doctor was confident she got hold of one of the pills my father in law takes. They haven't had to really baby-proof in twenty years because when Flip was around he was easy breezy and never stuck things in his mouth. Basically he was not one of those kids. But Vivian certainly is.
Hopefully this is some sign of superior intelligence - all this searching and discovery through the mouth. At least that's what I'm going to tell myself. I remember thinking how crazy Flip was. Boy was I wrong. Wrong enough to beg God that my next child be a girl. He must be laughing now.
But the moral of the story is Baby Proof Baby Proof Baby Proof!
Um, that would be me. Those warnings were written for me and my Vivian. We had a serious scare the other day when Vivian found a pill of some sort. Unbeknowst to us, she shoved it in her mouth - like everything else - and ate it. Why not, it could be sweet like candy? So after an evening of fun at the in-laws, from 9:30 at night to 6 am the next day Vivian was confused, energetic, eating, but certainly not sleeping. It was awful. I rushed her to the ER but there was no need to rush since we were seen 4 hours later.
After racking our brains and going through all the possibilities the doctor was confident she got hold of one of the pills my father in law takes. They haven't had to really baby-proof in twenty years because when Flip was around he was easy breezy and never stuck things in his mouth. Basically he was not one of those kids. But Vivian certainly is.
Hopefully this is some sign of superior intelligence - all this searching and discovery through the mouth. At least that's what I'm going to tell myself. I remember thinking how crazy Flip was. Boy was I wrong. Wrong enough to beg God that my next child be a girl. He must be laughing now.
But the moral of the story is Baby Proof Baby Proof Baby Proof!
Friday, October 15, 2010
Tattletale
Flip is a sweet little boy. He is polite and loves his preschool. He plays with his dogs, give spontanious hugs and all the other cute, endearing things that four year olds do. But, he is four, therefore, he is a tattletale.
"MOM, Vivian is on my bed!"
"MOM, Vivian took my red truck!"
"MOM, Vivian opened the door...Vivian is bothering me...Vivian is in my way...Vivian is sitting on the dog...Vivian took her shoe off...Vivian is eating a cracker..."
If she sneezes, coughs, blinks, or moves I hear about it. But how is it that Flip doesnt think its important to tell me that she is in his bathroom squirting glass cleaner all over the place and herself? Hmm? I thought he was my vigilante. I guess since she was making Flip laugh and not irritating him it was OK to let this little behavior pass. Clearly I need to teach him the difference between what is and is not worthy of telling me. Clearly I need to babyproof the bathroom!
"MOM, Vivian is on my bed!"
"MOM, Vivian took my red truck!"
"MOM, Vivian opened the door...Vivian is bothering me...Vivian is in my way...Vivian is sitting on the dog...Vivian took her shoe off...Vivian is eating a cracker..."
If she sneezes, coughs, blinks, or moves I hear about it. But how is it that Flip doesnt think its important to tell me that she is in his bathroom squirting glass cleaner all over the place and herself? Hmm? I thought he was my vigilante. I guess since she was making Flip laugh and not irritating him it was OK to let this little behavior pass. Clearly I need to teach him the difference between what is and is not worthy of telling me. Clearly I need to babyproof the bathroom!
Thursday, September 9, 2010
The Full School Folder
When Flip started his little Mother's Morning Out program he would do some cute little crafts and coloring pages. I would see his art skills on display in the school hallway or once a month when it was sent home to me. This was a good arrangement for me.
Then his second year he had different teachers who thought I would be delighted to have more partially colored paper lying around my house (if you are one of those people that every time you visit home you pull out your artwork folder that your mom kept for you and weep over your talent then stop reading because I am going to share some horrible truths). I mean, seriously, do the teachers really think that I will do anything but toss the legal size construction paper with the cotton balls glued on it? School hallways are notoriously dull, that artwork should stay there!
Of course when Flip explains to me that this scribble in red is a fire truck and this one is a shark I pay close attention and tell him how proud I am of him. But when he is off in his room or glued to the TV I toss it in the trash (or I will mail it to one of my sisters because I feel guilty about throwing it all away). It works out most of the time - except when he sees it crumpled in the trash and is reduced to tears. I will then immediately blame it on Dexter.
This year is the start of Preschool for him. And to my utter delight (HA) I get a folder filled with paper and practice work EVERY SINGLE DAY! So this first month of school he brought home 21 papers with letter tracing...sure I get to see his progress, but that doesn't mean I will keep it. I am much better about how I discard it now though.
I do keep some things (but never any kit from Oriental Trading). So far I have one picture that I intend to get framed. It is truly a work of art. It was Flip's first stick figure drawing. The picture is titled "My Baby Sister." Is that not the sweetest, cutest, most adorable thing you have ever seen!?!?!? This is not going in a folder of things I will save for my kids to look back on, this is going on the wall!
Then his second year he had different teachers who thought I would be delighted to have more partially colored paper lying around my house (if you are one of those people that every time you visit home you pull out your artwork folder that your mom kept for you and weep over your talent then stop reading because I am going to share some horrible truths). I mean, seriously, do the teachers really think that I will do anything but toss the legal size construction paper with the cotton balls glued on it? School hallways are notoriously dull, that artwork should stay there!
Of course when Flip explains to me that this scribble in red is a fire truck and this one is a shark I pay close attention and tell him how proud I am of him. But when he is off in his room or glued to the TV I toss it in the trash (or I will mail it to one of my sisters because I feel guilty about throwing it all away). It works out most of the time - except when he sees it crumpled in the trash and is reduced to tears. I will then immediately blame it on Dexter.
This year is the start of Preschool for him. And to my utter delight (HA) I get a folder filled with paper and practice work EVERY SINGLE DAY! So this first month of school he brought home 21 papers with letter tracing...sure I get to see his progress, but that doesn't mean I will keep it. I am much better about how I discard it now though.
I do keep some things (but never any kit from Oriental Trading). So far I have one picture that I intend to get framed. It is truly a work of art. It was Flip's first stick figure drawing. The picture is titled "My Baby Sister." Is that not the sweetest, cutest, most adorable thing you have ever seen!?!?!? This is not going in a folder of things I will save for my kids to look back on, this is going on the wall!The garage door...
Its twilight in the burbs. The kids are up from their naps (which means they have way too much energy) and the dogs are antsy because they ready to be fed. I'm trying to cook something for dinner and then out of all the noises I hear all day long, I finally hear what I now consider the best sound in the world: the garage door opening.
Flip runs to the back door, the dogs go nuts and run around barking, and Vivian squeals like only a little girl can while she dances or jumps. Everyone crowds around the back door. DADDY'S HOME!!!
I had a friend who asked if I squealed and danced too. "No," I said. "I sigh with relief and head for the wine rack."
Flip runs to the back door, the dogs go nuts and run around barking, and Vivian squeals like only a little girl can while she dances or jumps. Everyone crowds around the back door. DADDY'S HOME!!!
I had a friend who asked if I squealed and danced too. "No," I said. "I sigh with relief and head for the wine rack."
Kids & Dogs
As you may know I have two large dogs. Like my kids, I love them, but find I have less patience for them than is really required. I have found some other similarities between my 4 children and as I laugh, in the back of my mind I am worried that this may be a trend.
First, the dogs use the facilities outdoors. While I was potty training Flip I would point this out to show him how easy it is and that most folks relieve themselves in places other than their pants - even dogs. So naturally, he wants to pee outside (and occasionally poo as I have been informed by the neighbors). It was cute a first but not so much now. We spend a lot of time outside and Flip still asks if he can "Go pee in a bush."
Second, after a long walk I will turn the hose on and let the dogs drink from it. For some reason this is way more fun than drinking from their water dish (see I'm not all mean and spite, I let the people and animals I care for have things that they like). Well on a particularly hot day after our morning walk, I turned the hose on and let the dogs have their fill. As I walk to shut it off I see Vivian out of the corner of my eye. She has picked up and the hose and is drinking from it. She must have been thirsty since this went on for a few minutes.
Third, I have noticed that Vivian now will have her quiet time (for you non-parents this is the time that children have run out of energy and sit or lay down quietly; it is rare and a child should never be roused from this state prematurely) on the dogs' bed. She will often go there and the dogs will stand there and look from me to her. I imagine them asking - if they could - if I would move the small child from their bed.
These three instances are not very alarming, but if you stop and see the trend you might shudder to think what they will pick up on next. Like will they start to lick? Or growl (oh, well there is #4, Vivian growls all the time)? The dogs are looking to be more like older siblings that teach the younger bad habits, but instead of cuss words the kids are learning how to do things that don't require opposable thumbs.
First, the dogs use the facilities outdoors. While I was potty training Flip I would point this out to show him how easy it is and that most folks relieve themselves in places other than their pants - even dogs. So naturally, he wants to pee outside (and occasionally poo as I have been informed by the neighbors). It was cute a first but not so much now. We spend a lot of time outside and Flip still asks if he can "Go pee in a bush."
Second, after a long walk I will turn the hose on and let the dogs drink from it. For some reason this is way more fun than drinking from their water dish (see I'm not all mean and spite, I let the people and animals I care for have things that they like). Well on a particularly hot day after our morning walk, I turned the hose on and let the dogs have their fill. As I walk to shut it off I see Vivian out of the corner of my eye. She has picked up and the hose and is drinking from it. She must have been thirsty since this went on for a few minutes.
Third, I have noticed that Vivian now will have her quiet time (for you non-parents this is the time that children have run out of energy and sit or lay down quietly; it is rare and a child should never be roused from this state prematurely) on the dogs' bed. She will often go there and the dogs will stand there and look from me to her. I imagine them asking - if they could - if I would move the small child from their bed.
These three instances are not very alarming, but if you stop and see the trend you might shudder to think what they will pick up on next. Like will they start to lick? Or growl (oh, well there is #4, Vivian growls all the time)? The dogs are looking to be more like older siblings that teach the younger bad habits, but instead of cuss words the kids are learning how to do things that don't require opposable thumbs.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Baby Fever
I was at a little get-together for the holiday weekend and a young woman watched Vivian play (in a non-baby proofed house EEEK). While she sat there, smiling at Vivian she made the comment that she had baby fever. As any normal mother of a one year old, I told her exactly what she was missing.
I asked her if she enjoyed sitting down...for more than two minutes at a time. She did not answer, but merely looked confused. Then I asked if she likes to sleep in late at least one a day a week or sleep through the night ever. A scowl appears on her face. Then I asked if she likes to read, think, dress, shower, drive, go out, speak or any other common activity without being interrupted, climbed on or listening to incessant crying. The scowl lifts and is replaced with a mixture of realization and fear.
Poor girl, I burst her little motherhood bubble. Its not all naps and cute outfits. Its a lot of hard work. I wasn't being mean, just honest. We all want a accurate job description before we sign up for work!
I asked her if she enjoyed sitting down...for more than two minutes at a time. She did not answer, but merely looked confused. Then I asked if she likes to sleep in late at least one a day a week or sleep through the night ever. A scowl appears on her face. Then I asked if she likes to read, think, dress, shower, drive, go out, speak or any other common activity without being interrupted, climbed on or listening to incessant crying. The scowl lifts and is replaced with a mixture of realization and fear.
Poor girl, I burst her little motherhood bubble. Its not all naps and cute outfits. Its a lot of hard work. I wasn't being mean, just honest. We all want a accurate job description before we sign up for work!
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